Wise Observer

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly” -anonymous

Hope

As I sat on a plane going to Atlanta, I felt the sadness that has been welling up inside of me thinking about the funeral of my dear niece Sara. I just spoke to her less than a week before on the phone. We actually had a longer than normal conversation, lasting almost a half hour. I detected nothing in her voice to lead me to worry about her. She seemed to be dealing with her life and the recent surgery removing her appendix, and getting back to work. I heard nothing that sounded an alarm. That’s the thing about suicide. There often is no outward sign that something is wrong. I’ve dealt with suicide before. My best friend Bob was the first really close person to me that left this planet by his own hand. I felt helpless then, and I feel helpless now. The difference is that this time, I knew what to do to help, and I still wasn’t able to.

A friend of mine wrote to me after hearing about my niece, telling me that she too had had suicidal thoughts in her past and how she didn’t reach out either. Luckily for her something inside her kept her from completing her attempt. We all have different strengths inside of us. The problem is that sometimes things can feel overwhelming. I certainly have felt that way, but there’s always been something that kept me here.

To anyone that reads this, and ever feels alone and hopeless, know that there is always hope. You may not be able to see it, but reach out for help and someone else will be able to see it for you. Sometimes professionals have limiting beliefs and pass them on to others. Like a doctor that says there’s nothing we can do. The correct wording would be there’s nothing more I know how to do. But don’t give up! Hope is what creates miracles. It’s a belief, that no matter how things look, there can be something done, or something created to change what might be fact or truth as we now know it. Miracles indeed happen every day.

I have to say that suicide is never the answer. I have to think that once the person crosses over, they realize that there was another way, but it’s too late, at least this time. The effect that suicide has is so much more than most people could realize. We affect so many people that if we choose suicide, we never see the wide ripple effect it causes. I was caught in a tidal wave effect when my friend Bob died. I was in tremendous pain. I cried for days. I cried for years. Jimmy Stewart in “It’s a Wonderful Life” found out what difference he made to all the people around him. He got a second chance. Unfortunately we don’t usually get that in life. It has to be known, by each of us. Dustin Hoffman in “Hero” found out he made a difference in lives, even though before that his life wasn’t about contributing to others.

We all contribute to others in different ways. I try to contribute to others with my work, my writing, my speaking. But everybody contributes to the world one way or another. We touch many people in our lives. Many we never know about, and of course the ones we do. When suicide is chosen, many more people are affected and hurt that the person could possibly realize. I don’t pretend to have the answers to everyone’s problems, but I do know that they do, and perhaps can’t see them because of their depression.

The key is to reach out to someone. If they don’t have the answer, or aren’t supportive, find someone else that is. There are suicide hotlines all over the country. (1 800 SUICIDE 1 800 784-2433, or 1 800 273-TALK.1 800 273-8255) There are friends, family, ministers, therapists, books, etc. Reach out! Don’t give up! Pray for guidance. Talk to someone, anyone. Let someone know that you are in pain. Hold on. It will get better. That’s a guarantee. Believe me.

What to do when you feel stuck?

One of the first things to do is to slow down and center yourself if you can. Do this by taking a deep breath. Literally take a couple of deep breaths letting them out slowly. Breathing is powerful in calming you down and allowing better thought processes to occur.

Look into someone’s eyes, or if alone, look into a mirror. This eye to eye connection helps also to calm and center you.

Reach out for help. Help is always available and knowing that there is a way out even if you can’t see it is extremely important. Believe that you can be helped and you do deserve help no matter what. Sometimes you’re too close to the picture to be able to see the big picture and therefore the solution to the problem. Einstein said “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” In other words either you have to shift your thinking or have someone else help you to find the solution. Talk to someone that you know will support you, and not add to your stress level. Sometimes a good friend or family member fills this roll. Other times a coach, minister or therapist can offer not only a sympathetic ear, but also techniques and advice to guide you through your challenge. Tell them if you just want them to listen, or if you want them to listen and then offer advice.

Remember you do have your own answers. Sometimes you can’t see them without shifting or having support.

Take a time-out for yourself. Place a little distance between you and your problem. This sometimes is physical distance, other times just closing your eyes and deep breathing, creating a safe space for you to balance yourself. Take a walk. This simple act often allows you to clear your head, and regain your perspective.

Sometimes you need to express yourself. You can do this several ways. Sometimes you can write your feelings down, like in journaling. Putting your thoughts on paper is powerful and often releases them so your mind can clear. Sometimes a guided writing format helps. I use what I call the Soul Letter technique to guide me through the 7 steps of the emotional ladder. I find it helps to keep me balanced in my expression of my feelings and emotions. (See Get Unstuck! Chapter 9)

If writing it’s not a practical solution or it isn’t going to do it at the time, you may want to try blowing off a little steam with some loud expression. This often can be challenging to shout your feelings, and not disturb others. One way to do this is to stack several pillows on a bed or couch and place your head deep into them and shout away! If you’re near nature where there aren’t a lot of people around, you can shout and only the squirrels or seagulls will hear you. Once you’ve expressed yourself, you’ll feel a release and then hopefully you will more balanced.

Whatever combination you use, there is always a way out. Know that there is and you will find it. Now take a deep breath, and face your day!

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” ~Albert Schweitzer~

5 Things to do to help a friend in need.

Friends often reach out for help when they are in need. Here’s what to do when your friend reaches out to you.

First try to calm them down a little by asking them to take a couple of deep breaths. Literally get them to pause for just a moment and breathe. Often times this will bring them more into a balanced state of mind.

The second thing to do is to listen, really listen to them. Sometimes you need to make a “safe space” for them to open up. This can be accomplished by giving them your full attention. Even on the phone, they can sense whether you are giving them only part of your attention. If you’re physically with them, look at them, look in their eyes. Have an empathetic attitude and make sure it reflects in your face. Don’t make any judgments about what you hear. Come from a place of neutrality.

Ask them if they want your advice or if they just want you to listen. Men often make the mistake of trying to “fix” a problem when they see it. That’s why a new problem may be created if advice is offered and not wanted. Sometimes you may have some advice that fits for you, but might not be the best for them. So first ask them what they see as a solution. People have their own answers, but often times are too involved to see them. Other times with a little reflection they will figure out what needs to be done.

If you do offer advice, make sure it is balanced. Sometimes we have our own agenda when we offer advice. It’s always best to frame your advice with something like well if I were in your situation, I might such and such. Remember they are looking for support, but you need to be their balance to help them to see what makes sense to them. Remember that if you say throw the bum out, and they decide they want to stay with him; you are setting yourself up for a problem of your own.

Finally make sure they feel heard. Often that’s the real need they have. You can perception check with them by asking “If I hear you right, you are feeling such and such.” Then see if you are accurate. Once they really feel that they’ve expressed their feelings and emotions and feel heard, the problem will seem handleable. Just knowing that they have support can make them feel better and have hope. Pass this on, you may be saving someone you love.

John Seeley M.A. holds a Master’s degree in psychology is a Life Coach, Speaker and Author of the book Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life. John Seeley is President/CEO of Blue Moon Wonders and HeartFire Seminars, which specialize in educational and personal growth workshops and products.

John grew up in the Midwest the youngest of five children. He has lived and worked all over the country for Fortune 500 companies. John has been involved in personal growth & coaching since 1990. He works with individuals as well as business executives who have a commitment to making positive changes and awakening a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment in their lives and companies. John is a catalyst for change your life and has been in the lives of many people. John’s books Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life! and Get Unstuck! The Companion Workbook are showing people the steps to take to get their lives moving and create the life they really want. for more info and other articles go to http://www.getunstuck.com

Hip hop clothes are popular among all the classes of the society. High class millionaires or suburbia teenagers were all wearing baggy clothes as a defiant type of sportswear. Even basketball stars were appearing in public wearing hip hop clothes. The mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick has publicly stated his admiration for hip hop.

But these good times came to an end. The basketball players gave up baggy clothes and huge diamond-embedded medallions as the new NBA dress code asked for a business casual style. They didn’t start wearing corporate suits but they proved they can dress in collared shirts and dress shoes. The new NBA dress code didn’t stop them from wearing cowboy shirts, for instance, it just banned the hip hop clothes.

The reason for this action is simple: hip hop clothes will always be linked to the hip hop culture’s aggressive and problematic beginnings when hip hop represented a way of expressing one’s defiance and resistance against society rules.

Kwame Kilpatrick’s affection for hip hop came to the same end for similar reasons. When he first ran for city hall, he had the aggressive, defiant attitude hip hop fans or artists have. He was wearing a quite big diamond stud in his ear as many hip hopers do. The diamond stud became a controversial aspect during his campaign, but he refused to remove it until polls showed that the diamond stud was making him lose votes. After becoming the youngest mayor of Detroit, he returned to wearing its favourite trade mark. He also displayed publicly his admiration for hip hop clothes and hip hop culture in general.

But the voting public didn’t seem to appreciate this attitude and Kwame Kilpatrick was heavily loosing votes for his re-election campaign. Something has to be done quickly. So, during a very solemn ceremony, he removed his trade mark, the diamond stud and he stopped supporting the hip hop culture.

The reason behind this political move was the fact that people were considering the diamond stud a symbol of his negative image among voters. The public was associating his trade mark to the aggressive language and behaviour of the hip hopers.

After this political strike, Kwame Kilpatrick was re-elected as mayor of Detroit and he never returned to his diamond stud. After all, in the eyes of the public hip hop meant trouble.

Visit our hip hop clothes site for best hip hop clothes and hip hop resources.

As we grow older skin starts coming out with different growths and spots. Skin tags are one such product of ageing. The exact cause of skin tags is not known. They are also known as Acrochordons. Skin tags look like small growths hanging with a stalk. These fleshy bumps are ugly in appearance and cause lot of mental discomfort compared to physical.

Skin tags appear at different places o the body. The common areas are necklines, below the breasts, underarms, groin etc. Skin tags may appear in different sizes. Small tags appear in a bunch, while large tags appear alone. They normally form in cluster of small tags of about a mm to big ones measuring up to a cm.

Consult your doctor about removal of skin tags. Your doctor will remove them with a suitable method that may be either of these four- surgically cutting them, by freezing them, by electro surgery or by tying a suture around the stalk. The choice of removal method depends upon the location and the size of tag and the stalk. The tag removal normally does not lead to any scar formation. The healing is over in a day or two. Please consult your doctor for more details.

This article is only for informative purposes. This article is not intended to be a medical advise and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult your doctor for your medical concerns. Please follow any tip given in this article only after consulting your doctor. The author is not liable for any outcome or damage resulting from information obtained from this article.

Recently I was asked if I had any inspiration for the online article writer and indeed I have. As an article writer myself I can say that it is not as easy as it looks, in fact it is quite hard. One comment, which I think relevant to this topic and that is; it is amazing how lucky you get when you are working hard.

Sure it is an every day cliché yet it has an important theme in article writing and let me tell you why. You see currently there are novelists who can pump out a novel in thirty days, that is to say 50,000 to 60,000 words or more. Yet currently I am at 285,000 words average each month and that comes out to be just about 570 separate online articles. If you want to become a better writer, well write a lot and that means a lot of words you see?

With regard to the over all inspirational approach to writing lots of works, I would like to hereby plug the following people who happened to write some words of their own. These inspirational figures are Calvin Coolidge, Winston Churchill and Vince Lombardi as they talked about Perseverance, pressing on and never giving up as the attributes to success, glory and winning. And my best advice to online article writers is to stop stressing on perfection and start worrying about the importance of what you are saying.

You see, If you worry too much about how you are saying, what you are saying, then you are bound to forget why you are saying it, who you are saying it too and then you will surely forget why it needs to be said and thus have lost the entire goal, mission and purpose. And then you end up starting over or crinkling the paper so to speak and in the end that serves no one.

If one lacks the will to start writing, which is about the easiest thing to do, then it is definitely going to be difficult to convince them that they can. That is to say if they believe they can’t, well then they are right and it would be difficult for anyone to move them from self-pity and doubt to writing. The first step is to pick up the pen and write something. Anything. And as much as possible, so think on this.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

A primary inhibitor of business start-up is that few people have the financial cushion to give up a job for the uncertain income of a start-up venture. In a recent survey, about 30% of new business founders identified inadequate funding as their biggest hurdle, and a similar amount said lenders were too conservative. About 15% reported being unable to find investors, and a similar amount claimed a lack of collateral.

The prospective new business owner approaching a lending institution should keep in mind the “five c’s of credit:” character, cash flow, capital, collateral, and (economic) conditions. Character consists of the borrower’s integrity, experience, and ability; particularly close attention is paid to a borrower’s credit history, which is a matter of record. Should you decide to try to fund a startup through a commercial lender, the remaining criteria are addressed in the loan request.

The loan request should include a credit application, financial information such as tax returns and personal financial statements, and a brief business plan emphasizing projected financial performance of the new venture. The plan should demonstrate how the business will generate sufficient cash flow to repay the loan, specify collateral, and show the borrower’s personal investment.

In addition to servicing the loan, cash flow should also cover operating expenses, and provide for some re-investment for the increasing financial demands of a start-up venture. As collateral, banks will often lend up to 80% of the market value of real estate, and up to 50% on business assets such as equipment, inventory, and current accounts receivable. Lenders and investors often require that the bulk of start-up monies be provided by the business owner. This assures these stakeholders that the owner is committed, and has confidence in the financial projections.

When the entrepreneur can not meet the requirements of commercial lenders, and does not have a favorable arrangement with partners or other investors, the remaining options are difficult and expensive. These options include public-sector guarantees, finance companies, and the venture capital market.

Even where the start-up investment consists largely of other people’s money, the amount of financial risk for the entrepreneur is beyond what most can responsibly handle. For many with the financial means, the stress of bearing complete responsibility for the company’s direction and performance is the discouraging factor.

Once the venture is off the ground, a new set of challenges faces the entrepreneur. A recent survey showed their major concerns, named by more than half of respondents, were: “getting new business/clients;” “managing my time;” and, “promoting my business.” Another interesting question was what they missed about the corporate world. The top three responses were “company-paid health insurance,” “a regular paycheck,” and “retirement plans.”

Various estimates have been made for the failure rate of business start-ups, based on various concepts of failure and of appropriate survey methods. The consensus seems to be that less than half of new businesses survive the start-up “trauma.”

Perhaps, a major reason for what seems to be a high failure rate is that it is so easy to start a business. There is no institutionalized check of qualifications in the U.S.; on the contrary, our tax dollars fund the Small Business Administration and other agencies and programs that encourage business formation.

Another survey showed that over 80% of entrepreneurs would take a pay cut if that is what it took to keep the business going. Just over a third would sell the business, even if a good price were offered.

John B. Vinturella, Ph.D. has almost 40 years experience as a management and strategic consultant, entrepreneur, author, and college professor. For 20 of those years, Dr. Vinturella was owner/president of a distribution company that he founded. He is a principal in business opportunity sites jbv.com and muddledconcept.com, and maintains business and political blogs.

Does your firm’s website have a form link for potential legal clients to send inquires through to your law firm,? If so, you may be wasting your, or your assistant’s, time!

I’ll preface this by saying that many of the Internet legal client prospects you deal with in your career will likely be good, honest people. However, it seems the inquires generated through many legal web sites cause even the best, most honest, potential clients, to either intentionally, or unintentionally, waste your time.

As a professional in this industry, your time is the one thing you can’t afford to waste. If you run out of money, you can always make more. If you run out of time, all the money in the world won’t help you.

So there is a good argument to be made for the notion that time is much more valuable than money.

The impersonal nature of the Internet and ‘instant response’ culture promoted by it, can be detrimental to efficient lawyer time management.

If you have a popular legal web site, you will notice that a large percentage of the inquires requesting legal advice or opinion, can never be contacted by phone, or reply back to your emails after you have sent them their requested information.
Actually, with popular legal sites these time wasters can be a very serious problem. You’ll notice I said ‘can be’ in the preceding sentence. If you follow my suggestions below, the occurrence of this happening through your site will be drastically reduced or eliminated entirely.

Averaging over 100 unique visitors per day to my Houston legal directory http://www.houston-texas-lawyers-attorneys-directory.com alone, I know my suggestions really can benefit those of you who implement them. These are not theoretical ideas, but field tested and proven techniques.

#1. Show the current average hourly fees or case legal cost vs. settlement obtained for your clients.

This one step dramatically reduces the ‘dreamer/spendthrift’ type of email. It also enhances your credibility to win major settlements.

#2. All inquiry forms on your site should be set up so that if vital information is omitted, the form will remind the visitor when they try to submit it that the fields need to filled in for the form to work.

What information you want is up to you. Many times, personally, I do not require the phone number. This is because I feel that many may fear unwanted ’sales’ calls. Plus, after all they are contacting me via the Internet vs. my toll-free phone number!

I do require the following basic information:
A. Full name
B. Address
C. Email address
D. Nature of case

Depending on the form, other information will be required. Keep in mind, these people know about you and are requesting your time. If they will NOT provide you their basic personal information, how serious can they really be?

Perhaps key to saving your valuable time, is my last suggestion:
Immediately upon receipt of an inquiry from your site, you or your assistant should reply with a request for some small bit of additional information. If you do not receive a timely reply to your inquiry, why invest any more time on this inquiry?

What should you ask for depends on the type of inquire. I ask for such information as:
When the situation occurred, full extent of damages/injury, and/or have they consulted any other lawyers?.

Proper time management is crucial to any successful business. Management of your Internet inquires will increase your productivity!

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with It.” -M Scott Peck

Copyright 2005 Promotions Unlimited - All rights reserved

Bob Schwartz runs 15 legal directory sites. Houston lawyers www.houston-texas-lawyers-attorneys-directory.com, Dallas lawyers www.dallas-fort-worth-texas-lawyers-attorneys-directory.com, Los Angeles lawyers www.la-orange-county-lawyers-attorney-directory.com, San Jose law www.san-jose-ca-lawyers-attorneys-directory.com

The struggle involved in going to a meat space gaming house should suffice to avoid going there unless you can’t avoid it. At the end of the day, traffic congestion, the struggle, and to-do lists entailed won’t seem to justify the incommodity merely for that prospect of risking a game at meat space gaming house, though allowing for this, provided you are a person who lives and breathes casinos then electing to go for casinos and gambling exploiting the Net could be the way to go. Here, you won’t need to abandon the comfort of your home to go for online games of chance since you will do everything within your domestic surroundings provided you possess a fully functional computer with an Internet connection. But, let’s remember that there’s a fair number of instructions that you’ll definitely want to take in in regards to online games of chance, in particular should you happen to be a tyro.

The very first thing that you as a cool Internet punter will take care to chase out is an online games of chance establishment of the type that promotes the best odds. Establish for certain that the online games of chance establishment is partnered with an honest and trust-worthy bookkeeping company so as to audit their online games payout percentages on a monthly basis. Always take care to confirm the online video poker etc establishment is legit, for instance by checking out the government authorization on site. If you cannot ferret out any government authorization on a targeted online video poker etc establishment, do not attempt to lay your bets there. Don’t be shy! Learn top no deposit casino games from home!

Beyond, further key advice could be to try your hand at first in smallish amounts in lieu of throw away so much that it hurts straightaway. To begin with, check the health of the online video poker etc setup before provoking some undue injury– in particular in terms of money! Arguably the most most crucial word of wisdom in regards to online card-playing. It can obviously only be to always call to mind that online casino gambling is about pleasurable recreation rather than high winnings. Casino betting is certainly no chore, on the contrary - it’s a hobby that intends to let you feel exultant and your life pleasurable. So, simply having kept to the explained tips, set off to acquiesce to the enthrallment of online video poker etc!

Recent changes to the UK’s quarantine laws mean that it is now possible for you to obtain a pet passport (under the government’s ‘passport for pets’ scheme) and take your family pet away with you on holiday. However, before you run off down to your local travel agent and book tickets for the whole family to that exotic seaside tropical location you have always wanted to visit but have to put off because everyone else at home didn’t want to leave Fido in the kennel, you might want to consider getting you and your family some travel insurance - including that all important travel pet insurance.

A number of leading pet insurance providers now offer pet owners travel pet insurance to give pet owners the comfort of knowing whether they are far away in exotic places enjoying the sun and sea or closer to home enjoying the cultural delights of Europe, their pet will be insured against any illness or mishap that may unfortunately befall them.

Typically, included in the travel pet insurance is:

Large trampolines can be greatly entertaining in addition to being able to keep your teenagers gripped and amused for some number of hours. Specific trampolines aren’t just manufactured for kids, as they can also be used by people in their 20’s as an aerobic cardiovascular drill on top of a means for tightening and making stronger numerous muscles all together. Thus a trampoline has loads to provide throughout June for the whole family and it is of no bolt out of the blue that trampolines are such a well-liked product during the summer months.

The critical thing to consider when acquiring a garden trampoline is to check it is correct for the age and ability of the people who will probably be playing on it, be it the toddlers’ or the mature people. Click here now to find the prices on outdoor trampolines.

An additional thing to keep in mind is obviously going to be the location of the outdoor trampoline. A few trampolines currently can take up a sizeable amount of space on the whole as you will need about 3ft of space roughly around the exterior of the trampoline in order for the kids to land in one piece if they fortuitously fall off.

It’s also handy to bear in mind that several trampolines will insist to be positioned on level ground if not the sturdiness and safety of the outdoor trampoline can be easily affected. Therefore, specific ditches might need to be constructed in order for the garden trampoline to stand evenly.

Cruising around the MLM playground (Online MLM Forums), the question of “How do you prospect strangers into your MLM Business?” popped up. And I knew if this fellow Network Marketer was struggling with this question, then several others probably are having the same dilemma as well.

So here it is.

When you’re building your MLM Business there is 1 Golden Rule to follow when it comes to prospecting strangers and it’s simply:

Just Don’t Do It!

That’s right! You NEVER want to prospect strangers to build your MLM Business. Now I know some people may not agree with me, so here are 3 “Prime” reasons why you don’t want to prospect strangers as a way to build your MLM Business.

Reason #1 - Strangers Are Not Your Target Market.

Believe it or not, but unfortunately more than half the population isn’t “wired” to be in business for themselves. Your goal is to find people with a “track record” of success. These are the only kinds of people you need to help build your business, not strangers (any ‘ol Joe Schmo you see walking down the street).

If that’s your plan then you might as well whip out the phone book and start dialing. And let’s see how many No’s, not interested’s and don’t call me again’s you get before you finish the page. It’s simply because “strangers” is not the target market you should be going after to build a successful home business.

Reason #2 - It’s Too Ineffective.

Prospecting strangers is a big waste of time, energy and patience. Just think about it, would someone like Donald Trump say “Hey, I have this great business opportunity that’ll help any self motivated and dedicated individual make a handsome residual income each month -let’s kick things off by showing it to people walking on the street!” Of course not! So why should you?

It’s at least 10x more effective to target a group of people who “already” possess positive character traits and good business skills that’ll help you take your business to the next level.

Reason #3 - It’s Just Not Worth It

Prospecting strangers isn’t worth the hassle (time, energy, sweat, blood, tears and not to mention the headaches). Prospecting these types of people for your business WILL take a lot out of you. (Just thinking about it, makes me cringe). Facing rejection from the wrong kinds of people is one of the main “killers” for many new home business owners. Don’t let it happen to you, or anyone in your organization. Don’t prospect strangers.

Remember; don’t try to prospect everyone for your business because unfortunately not everyone is ideally suited to be in business for themselves. It’s sad, but true. So in order to find the right people for your MLM Business simply focus on a target market. Look for people with a track record of success and possess good business skills.

Some great examples of this are real estate agents, store owners, small business owners, franchise owners and even other Network Markets (they almost always keep their options open). Simply put, focus your energy on target markets rather than every ‘ol Joe Schmo who comes within 3 feet of you, it’s proven to work 10x better than prospecting everyday strangers.

Copyright 2005 Richard Knight

This article has been written by Richard Knight, founder of 45 Second Prospecting. Richard offers a free newsletter filled with Fresh Tips, Tricks and Simple Strategies that’ll boost your residual income and your MLM profits even if you’ve thought about throwing in the towel - Sign up for his FREE newsletter today. . . http://www.45secondprospecting.com